Acceptance
by yukisama010389
Summary: Even Asami can't conquer the change in someone heart.


Notes:

1. This is angst, sorry :(

2. Special thanks to serinji-san which makes time to beta it. And although for some very urgent reason she can't finish it, i really appreciate your effort. So this story is still un-betaed and since English is not my native language, therefore don't be surprised if there are many mistakes (you're welcome to point them out and correct them).

3. Reviews are always appreciated.

Disclaimer:

Finder Series and its characters belong to Yamane Ayano-_sensei_.

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><p><strong>Acceptance<strong>

With last hard thrust he emptied himself in Akihito body. He pulled off of Akihito and rolled to the boy's side. Tracing his fingers down Akihito sweat slicked body, Asami watched him trying to catch his breath. When Akihito started to get up -no doubt with intention to leave to his room- he caught his waist and pulled his body toward him. Akihito tense for a moment but then relaxing. He understood the message clearly – _stay and sleep_. Asami wished for him to protest, to shout, to rebel, but no, never again will Asami hear Akihito's protest and shout, never again he will enjoy taming Akihito's rebel.

He tightened his hold on Akihito's slumbering body. Thinking about the series of event that changed his boy. And contemplating his believes to never regret his action. Okay, maybe he still not regret it -since there was no use for regret in his live- but he can honestly admit to himself that he wished he can come to term and accepted his own felling towards Akihito sooner_, a lot of sooner_.

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><p>After Akihito had been rescued from Hong Kong, Asami had a conflict of his own feeling toward the boy. He felt this tightness in his chest whenever he laid his eyes on the boy, the deep longing whenever he thought about the boy. Deep in his heart he knew what he was feeling, but his rationality refused to acknowledge it. In his world, that kind of feeling was weakness, one dangerous weakness that can destroy him. He just needed to look on the accident in Hong Kong with Fei long to prove it. Rushed to Hong Kong injured with no regards for his men and his organization safety, just to save one boy he barely knew. Fortunately, he and his men came back safely, but there was no guarantee that the next time will be the same, that the next time he wont simply destroyed all of his hard work. So, he thought, he needed to control this feeling, not be controlled. And to do it he had to convince himself that Akihito was mere possession, a unique one, but still just a possession.<p>

He ignored Akihito presence in his penthouse, preferring to spent time in his office, make sure to leave before Akihito wake up and to come home after Akihito sleep. And if by any chance he met the boy, he won't talk or kept conversation short. He ignored the confused and hurt look on Akihito since he can let himself become led around with the other feeling.

Then he started to show off with various men or women in public. Hold them; hug them; kissed them, which of course become the headline of every news paper in the morning. Akihito had been furious, that he started to shout at Asami. And Asami had calmly stated that Akihito had no right in interfering with his business. Akihito stunned, shock clearly evident in his face, which had been filled with anguish and sorrow so deep that make Asami heart twinge. But no, he can let himself become weak with his own feeling.

After that Akihito run from him, he thought to just let the boy go since it will certainly proved to himself that the boy was not important, a mere possession like the others. But he can't, he reason to himself that Akihito was still his and let the boy go before he wished it was not an option. So he tracked down Akihito, hunted him, and dragged him back, showed him that he can't ever escape Asami on his own free will. He pounded that fact to Akihito body all night long. And after that he told him that if he ever thinking to run away again, Asami will never hesitated to take away all of his freedom.

Since then, Akihito was always obedient, he never escaped the goon that guard him, never questioned Asami command, never tried to defy Asami wish. Asami was satisfied with it, thought that he had conquered his own weakness in his heart. But, despite the satisfaction, there was something that kept nagging him, something was not alright, something was wrong. Of course he brushed that feeling aside, since there was no use to dwell on it. But unexpectedly, the answer came to him one afternoon.

That afternoon Asami was in penthouse -in his front couch, fucking off the brain of his business rival daughter to win the deal he made with his father- when Akihito walk on them. Akihito froze, and Asami expected some verbal lashed out from the boy. But Akihito just walked away to his bedroom after he apologized for his interruption. Akihito reaction had sent Asami to rage. He stood up -ignored his partner whine, even threw her out of penthouse- and followed Akihito to his room. He grabbed Akihito arm, spun him to face him, and demanded explanation of him why he didn't react about those _scene_.

"_Why'd bother with my reaction Asami? I've accepted that I just a possession to you, I have no right to involved in your affair, you said so yourself. And don't worry, I won't run away anymore, because I've learned my reason well. Isn't that what you want?"_

That was the answer of his nagging felling. _Isn't that what he want? _

No, definitely no. Akihito was not just a mere possession; he was not a weakness like he thought; he gave him strength , he gave his something to cherished, something to protect, he gave him passion, he gave him love, and … he loved him, _Asami_ loved him.

And looking at Akihito -to those empty eyes, devoid all of passion and emotion- he knew he just trampled on that love, stomped on it, destroyed it with no hope to repair it back.

The day Asami Ryuuichi accepted the truth of his own feeling to Akihito, was the same day that he accepted the truth that he had lost off all Akihito own feeling to him.

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><p>Akihito shifting drew Asami back to the present. He gathered Akihito closed to his body, close enough that Akihito squirming and twisting- unconsciously trying to escape Asami embrace- but Asami hold him still until Akihito relaxing once more. He buried his face to Akihito hair and inhaled his scent. Rejoiced in the fact that he still had <em>at least this much<em> of Akihito.

Hurt as it was, Asami had accepted that he will never be able to gain those passion and those love back.

And although he had accepted the fact that he will never again posses Akihito heart, he still refused to relinquish his hold on Akihito. He knew that it will hurt him more, but to completely let go of Akihito is simply unacceptable.


End file.
